My Life is Going to Pot

I got a disability denial letter. I am not sure who was reading my medical records but, I am pretty sure they were stoned while doing it. They wrote down that I was denied because pain management treatments were suggested that I need to try first… like, three years ago! That information is old. I tried all the things they wanted and mentioned in the denial letter. SO, now we are on to the next step. Going in front of a judge. I cannot imagine how they can keep denying me. Seriously… I have:

  1. Epilepsy, with seizures 12-15 times a month (petit mal?) (Documented since August 27th)
  2. Fibromyalgia
  3. Chronic pain
  4. Lower back problems
  5. Allergies to heat and sunshine
  6. Allergies to 54 foods
  7. Anaphylaxis to 6 different things… including heat

No one will hire me! Hell, I wouldn’t hire me! I am a walking liability.

Positive Stuff!

Enough bitching. On to something positive. New treatment plan!

Since the denial letter brought up my sleep behaviors, I decided to say “fuck it” and I am getting off all my medications. After all, that is the biggest reason I have a sleeping problem. Yea, I would have the random sleep attacks but I wouldn’t have “bad sleep behaviors”. I would be able to sleep on a better schedule.

AND my check cleared the bank. The one I wrote for my medical marijuana card… My ex gave me money ONLY for the marijuana card. I was NOT complaining! oh, did I mention that on here? I am totally getting medical marijuana.

I cannot take this pain anymore. I am tired of trying all the anti-seizure meds (with BAD reactions). I am tired of taking muscle relaxers. I am tired of being nauseous all the time. I am tired of being tired so much.

Most of these are meds I take that I never wanted to take in the first place because it’s against my beliefs! But with the lack of help or any doctor that would listen, I was at a loss as to what I should do. So, I broke down and took medications. I didn’t like it. I knew there was something better. I just couldn’t find it.

Medical marijuana it is. I am waiting for the card and then I can start planning to smoke my own in a vaporizer. I cannot wait.

In the meantime, the letter really hit a nerve with me considering all I have gone through to be compliant and cooperative. Even violating my religious beliefs. No one else would have to violate their beliefs like I have. I am not happy at all. So I am weaning off my medications.

They want me to be healthy? How can I with all the medications and keeping my doped to the eyeballs? They want me to have healthier sleep behaviors? How can I when I am knocked out 3/4 of my day? Since I started weaning off the meds, I am more awake. I am also more in pain and having daily seizures. My head is killing me. I am not having fun with this.

I hope that card gets here soon! I am going to smoke a bowl as soon as it gets here… and I figure out what I am doing. I never vaporized dry herb before.  I’ll figure it out.