Grammar aside, the next thing on the list is, “The worst movie you ever did see, and why”. I’ll be right back. I need to scream.
20 minutes later…
Okay, I feel better. The worst movie I ever saw? I am having trouble thinking of one. Let me go to my favorite starting point… Wikipedia. Hold on for a second while I mop the sarcasm off the floor. I am dripping it everywhere!
I scrolled down the list and while I watched a couple of them, I didn’t see any that were really that horrible; not horrible enough to call “the worst” anyway.
Then I remembered a movie I watched that truly did suck. The immensely deplorable nature of this film cannot be properly measured.
The Worst Movie EVER: The Interview for being so stupid.
Let me just say before I start, I could not force myself to sit through the entire movie because it was so stupid that I actually felt brain cells dying… Wait, no… committing suicide rather than having to sit through 112 minutes of that abysmal tripe.
A couple people have mentioned that I can’t accurately review the movie since I didn’t watch the full movie. My cousin said it best, I think. He said (paraphrasing) “That’s like judging the whole meal when you only ate the appetizer.”
While I can see your point, if I were going to judge a meal, the appetizer is still part of the meal. If that appetizer included burnt tortilla chips, watery bland salsa, and you didn’t even bring my drink, I am not going to love the meal any better. While it may be the best meal coming up, I shouldn’t have to gag on a shitfest of food to get to enjoy the best enchiladas. Besides, burnt food takes away from the taste of the good food too, no matter how great the main dish is.
And back to the movie…
I can actually see why North Korea was offended. Why? This is the most mind-numbing, moronic movie I have ever seen… and I sat through some stupid shows and movies… but this one tops them all. It’s a sad day when I can empathize with a fucking communist country! DAMN YOU, SONY!
The whole premise is stupid. Send two half-wits to another country to assassinate a dictator? And since we can’t have this movie without toilet humor, it is full of it. I seriously stopped watching when the tour guide actually said the leader doesn’t have a butt hole. I was done.
This movie may be funny for some people but I am not into stupid humor. My eyes glazed over not too far into the movie. I am pretty sure I had an out-of-body experience where my soul was trying to pull my body away from the computer screen.
The part where Eminem admits he is gay made my eyes roll into the back of my head. The part where the helicopter landed in the middle of a mountain top to… let me be honest, I had trouble staying focused and actually following what was going on. Paint drying is more intellectually stimulating than whatever was happening on that mountain top.
I couldn’t force myself to watch it. I can’t see how anyone found it funny. We got hacked for this shit? How the hell does this cluster fuck cause an international incident? WTF!? Brain cells died for this crap. Are you happy now?
I need to go calm down and take a chill pill now. If you need me, I’ll be over in the corner with my Valium drip on full force.