Books! They are my Glimpse into Other Worlds.

I love books! I really enjoy reading (or listening to the audio books) because it gives me a chance to escape reality. So today, I am rambling on about Books. Leave a comment with your favorite book or series so I can add it to my reading list.

I’ll admit it, I have an addiction to old books. I collect them and put them on display in my house. Why? Because I love their smell, the feel of them, the pages feel, and the hard cover with cloth on it. It feels authentic when I look at them. It’s like a nostalgia but, not really.

A real quick thank you to The Collector’s Addition – www.collectorsaddition.com for sponsoring this post! I searched for books and found a lot of cute collectibles AND a children’s book. There are so many different creative collections on there to browse. Thank you for the support!
I really appreciate that this sponsor allows me to write how I feel and doesn’t tell me what to write. The only request was that I keep it family friendly (which means no cussing). I can do that! I can edit!

Back to the blog post…

My favorite books are poetry type books. Dr Seuss and Shel Silverstein are my favorite children’s authors. I had One fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish memorized through about 1/4 of the book.

When my kids were little, I would tell them I could read with my eyes closed, hold the book over my head, and then recite the story on the page. They were blown away… until they learned to read. Then the gig was up.

And now…

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My books from Redditgifts Book Exchange.

 

My Favorite Series

My friend, Leslie, got my into The Earth’s Children series. After reading Clan of the cave Bear (affiliate link), I was hooked. This is an excellent series about a girl I got all the books on a Redditgifts book exchange. Here is the story description from Amazon:

A natural disaster leaves the young girl wandering alone in an unfamiliar and dangerous land until she is found by a woman of the Clan, people very different from her own kind. To them, blond, blue-eyed Ayla looks peculiar and ugly–she is one of the Others, those who have moved into their ancient homeland; but Iza cannot leave the girl to die and takes her with them. Iza and Creb, the old Mog-ur, grow to love her, and as Ayla learns the ways of the Clan and Iza’s way of healing, most come to accept her. But the brutal and proud youth who is destined to become their next leader sees her differences as a threat to his authority. He develops a deep and abiding hatred for the strange girl of the Others who lives in their midst, and is determined to get his revenge.

The story is well written and really draws you in. I read that the author put a lot of research into writing the books too. They are amazing!

And now I pass it onto you… What is your favorite book or book series? Tell us in the comments below.

50 Questions: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Today’s 50 question is number 38.

“What do you want to be when you grow up? (Yes, there is still time!)

I thought I would answer this a wee bit different from just “I wanna be a writer!” I am listing what I wanted to be throughout my life.

Here are my top six of things I wanted to be (and why I didn’t become that).

What I wanted to be #1: A Bird

When I was in Kindergarten I wanted to be a bird.

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Photo Credit: holyknight33 (is gone! too busy! sorry guys!) via StoolsFair / CC BY-NC

Specifically, I wanted to be a RED bird. For some reason, I didn’t realize that you stayed human through your whole life. I wanted to be able to fly. 

What happened? I stayed human. I know. That’s so anticlimactic. It would be cooler if I had turned into a lizard or a polar bear instead. That would make blogging a lot harder though.

What I wanted to be #2: A Teacher

Then came along the desire to be a teacher. I had dreams of being the best teacher EVER! I was going to be just like Mrs. Beaulafont, my third grade teacher.

What happened? As I got older, I realized that I like children, just not that much. I also get migraines easily with a lot of noise. I don’t want to be near them 8+ hours a day 5 days a week, 10 months out of the year. (School here starts August 31st and gets out June 9th). 

Plus, I realized that my idea of education and teaching varies greatly from the public school system’s idea of education and teaching. I would probably be fired by the end of year one.

What I wanted to be #3: Race Car Driver!

Yes, at one point in my life I wanted to be a race car driver. I wanted to feel the thrill of driving at stupidly high speeds and enjoy the exhilaration and rush of the sport.

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Photo credit: pedrosimoes7 via Foter.com / CC BY

What happened? When I was 18 years old, I was in a pretty bad accident that totaled my 1967 Plymouth Valiant. That thing was built like a tank.

I realized that if a car accident at 55 mph could total the Green Beast, I would probably die if I crashed a glorified aluminum can, even if it did have a reinforced roll cage in it.

What I wanted to be #4: A Nun

Oh how I dreamed of living in a cool cathedral style church, gardening, singing, praising God, and doing all the other cool Nun things.

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Photo credit: zoonabar via Foter.com / CC BY

What happened? I learned that you have to be Catholic to be a Nun. I am not, nor have I ever been, Catholic.

What I wanted to be #5: A Rodeo Clown

Yes, at one point in my life I wanted to be a rodeo clown because it combined rodeos (which I loved) and clowning (which I also loved) into one really cool job!

What happened? Common sense and self-preservation kicked in. I realized what could happen.

WARNING: Link is probably NSFW/ NSFL and you probably should not open it if you are squeamish. Why I am not a rodeo clown.

What I wanted to be #6: A Doctor or a Nurse or a Nurse Practitioner

Wouldn’t that be cool though? Helping people and saving lives would be the highlight of that career. Getting to know people would be cool too. Just making a difference in people’s lives would outweigh the bad things of the job. Right?

I did become a Certified Nurse Assistant and had a plan of working up to becoming a Physicians Assistant or Nurse Practitioner. 

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Photo credit: DES Daughter via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

What happened? Well… first off, I can’t afford to go to college. My credit sucks so hard it could suck the yoke out an egg through a pinhole so, loans are out.

I had made some plans for after both my kids turned 18 and all. But I ended up screwing up my back and I don’t think I would be able to go through college now.

It was a fun dream though.

What I want to be now

Now, I want to be a writer. Wait… I am a writer. I want to be a well-paid writer. Erma Bombeck is my idol for writing. 

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Photo credit: Leukos. via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

My goal is to publish one Erma Bombeck style book before I die. I should work on that.

So, what’s taking you so long? Self doubt. I am my own worse critic. I am the only thing holding me back. Admitting that doesn’t make it easier to do either. For right now, I am sharpening my writing skills.

I also have spent my off time getting all of my poems into a book. I decided to really take my time on it and get it how I want it – then I will publish it as my first book. I will work from there.

What do you want to be when you grow up? 

Questions From This Week … Answered!

I get questioned throughout the week about my blog and posts. My squirrel, Sparky, working in the background suggested that I make a post each week of the questions people asked. Her thinking was, if one person asked you, other people may want to know too. Good idea!

How is this different from MAILBAG! posts? These weren’t sent through email, comments, or any other social media site. These are questions my friends and family members asked in person, through text messages, or in chat.

Question 1: Did you reschedule the sleep study?

Continue reading

I AM CRAZY! I have PROOF!

Sorry for the late posting. I went to therapy today and started with, “I am crazy. I just know I am. I have lost my damned mind.” My Psychologist laughed and was all, “No you are not!” And I said, “I have PROOF!” So she humored me and listened.

First, don’t Google anything yet. Make notes and then compare them to what you remember and what Google says.

Remember Jiffy peanut butter?

I remember Jiffy peanut butter. Not Jif! JIFFY! My kids remember Jiffy peanut butter. In fact, they remember when it switched over to the name “Jif” because I bitched about it for about a month because I couldn’t my beloved Jiffy. Everyone in my apartment building remembers Jiffy. My mom remembers Jiffy. My friends remember Jiffy.

It was JIFFY. Not Skippy. JIFFY! Jiffy peanut butter was the bomb!

So I sent an email to Jif asking when they changed the name. Here is the email I got back. Remember… no Googling yet!

Reference Number 10680945 dotchi gmail.com Gmail

In case you can’t read it because of screen size, it says,

“… the name Jif was chosen because it was easy to say, spell and remember. It was never called Jiffy.”

Stay with me on this… changing subjects. This is NOT a squirrel alert! And stay off Google until I am done.

Berenst_in Bears Books

Remember the lovable anthropomorphic family of bears that lived in a tree and had wonderful lessons to teach in each book? How did you spell the name?

Berenstein?

Berenstain?

Write it down. Visualize the book in your head. If you have a book nearby, no peeking.

Back to therapy

So, I told my psychologist about these two things. I made sure she agreed with me that Jiffy peanut butter was real and that she spelled the bears names like I remembered. Then I blew her mind…

Jiffy peanut butter never existed. Ever. It isn’t a thing.

I remember spelling it, “BerenstEin”. How did you spell it? Write it down. Okay, now Google it.

It is spelled BerenstAin. I swear to you it was spelled with an E. She said, “No. It was spelled with an E.” and objected to the non-existence of Jiffy peanut butter.

She didn’t believe me SO much so that she went and got her computer and brought it in the counseling room and googled it herself. She seriously thought I was bullshitting her. The look on her face and the gasp of shock as she saw this was totally worth all the happy pills in the world.

I would like to stop and take a moment to proudly announce that I am so crazy that I am taking my Psychologist with me! Not sure if that counts as a squirrel alert or not…

Yes, my psychologist was blown away.

Okay, now go search for Jiffy peanut butter. It doesn’t exist. It never has. The ONLY thing I could find was in a cartoon. You can see it here. Does that look like Jiffy peanut butter to you? It is super close to me! But other than that one picture, I cannot find it. In fact, if you Google “Jiffy peanut butter” you get this…

Jiffy peanut butter Google Search

Don’t believe me? Try it for yourself.

What the fuck!?

In case you are checking to make sure you took your meds today, you can put the lid back on your bottle. It’s called the Mandela effect.

It was named that because MANY people vividly remember Nelson Mandela dying in the 70’s or 80’s while in prison. Do you remember that? Brace yourself… He died December 5, 2013. Here is the WIkipedia page.

If you think I am totally batshit crazy, you can check out The Mandela Effect’s Major Memories page and start scrolling. They have a list of them. I had to Google some of them because I was like, “No. It’s BarbAra Streisand! Not Barbra!” *types in Google* “Wait. Whaaaa….???” The comments have other ones so enjoy the read.

Have you experienced the Mandela effect? Let me know in the comments. I am curious to hear your experiences.

If you think we are all crazy, that’s cool (check the title of my blog), we still love ya!

50 Questions: A Deep Dark Secret

Share a secret you’ve never told anyone. Until now…

I was pondering this question for a while. I am an open and honest person. Sometimes to the point of it being a fault of mine. If you ask me a question, I will tell you the answer. It might not be the answer you were looking for, but I will tell you anyway. After all, you asked for it! So, I thought about all the secrets I could tell you guys.

Had a son who died because I took him off life support… nope, already told that.

All my medical conditions… talk about them all the time.

My children… talk about them all the time too.

My ex… talk about him some too.

There really isn’t anything very secretive about me at all. And then I had a conversation with someone (who wishes not to be named on my blog) about life, death, poverty, and self-image; and it hit me! I know what secrets I am going to share. I say secrets because they go hand in hand. Get the happy pills ready… here we go!

Death is not an end

This isn’t really a huge secret. Many people believe in an afterlife. But I do remember things that aren’t from this life. I remember them vividly. I have had out of body experiences and near death experiences. I can tell you that is what shaped my beliefs, partly. This is why I would never commit suicide. You can kill your body, but the soul continues on and you will be reborn into something or someone. Your energy is what makes you who you are. Not so much the body. The body is just a physical experience you claim before you are born.

Call me crazy all you want but, I warned you about that when I called my blog “Crazy Woman’s Journal“.

Let’s say you have a shitty life and you decide to off yourself. You will get to redo the life over again. Maybe not the exact same life, but one with similar problems. You can get a new life here in this time or in an alternate universe. It won’t matter if you kill yourself because you will get to redo it over and over until you live the life you are supposed to complete.

Analogy time! Your life is a series of books…

It would be like if your life were a series of books. You were reading through the books and decided in book 3 that you didn’t want to read them anymore and threw them in the trash. You went to the life library and picked a new set of books and started reading. But damn it! These books are following the same story line as the last series. You toss that set in the trash too and go back for another series to read.

This next series is JUST like the last two series. Same type of characters, same settings, and I swayer to you, the story is the same as the first two. Only this time you begrudgingly finish reading the series to learn something amazing, some life altering experience that you didn’t expect.

So, while the books sucked at first, and droned on in some areas, and one chapter just described a cat’s fur, the story line (as a whole) has a purpose.

That purpose sometimes sucks

While some lives are meant to change something or be amazing, other lives are a form of punishment. I call this idea “The Good, the bad, and the ugly”.

The Good

Some people get to have amazing lives with “demons” they still have to battle or overcome. They might create a mega-company that changes the world. They might become doctors who revolutionize cancer treatments. They might be some guy who discovers something great but it’s not recognized in this life. They might be an artist who touches many. There are so many great lives people can live.

The Bad

Then there are the shitty lives where you just seem to suffer, can never get ahead, or spend the rest of your life in jail or as a slave. These lives aren’t pointless though. They have meaning too. They serve a purpose. Sometimes they are for you to learn some lesson about hardship.

Like, how to live frugally… or how to survive in the mountains after a government overthrow… or how to live homeless… or how you can survive living in chronic pain even though it sucks ass… or to teach you to stand up for yourself when you have lived an oppressed life… or how to change your way of thinking and not be so closed-minded… or a chance to fight in a revolution and help make a change.

The Ugly

It can also be a punishment. It’s a life meant for paying a karmic debt, for lack of a better word.

Let’s say that you had a life where you decided to try making lamp shades out of your friend’s skin and stew out of there brains and vital organs. In that life, you got away with it and caused a lot of pain to many people, not just the one’s you killed off and consumed. Their families, their friends, the community, the state, the nation… everyone who was effected by your murderous, carnivorous, interior decorating spree adds to your karmic debt.

If, in that life, you were caught, went to jail, found remorse, and tried to better yourself; your karmic debt would be less. But that life, you managed to evade police, killed a puppy or ten for fun, set random fires that no one linked to you, and basically were just a psychopathic asshole. Your karmic debt would probably follow you through several lives of becoming Mother Teresa or Princess Di before you would be out of karmic debt.

Not all karmic debt if that extreme though. Sometimes you just suffer through a disease but end up beating it because your karmic debt is paid. Or you have a series of bad things happen but nothing that sends you to a padded room. It’s things that you survive and make it through… and then you help others get through the same thing and your karmic debt gets better each time.

Basically, it’s complicated.

Deep Dark Secret #2: My Karmic Debt

I sometimes jokingly say that whatever I did in my last life must have been horrible to deserve such a shit life like this. But honestly, I don’t think it was really that bad because I could have it much worse. 

I do honestly think that this life is here as part of a karmic debt and part as a lesson that I have not figured out yet. Whatever I did in a past life wasn’t heinous like the murderous example above but it hurt a lot of people nonetheless and now I am paying my debt.

I am assuming here… It probably has something to do with medical since I am living with so many medical problems and I have a hard time with doctors treating me horrible. It probably has something to do with affection since I have trouble bonding with people. Or maybe those are just random forms of punishment that were doled out it has nothing to do with that at all.

Anyway, I do believe that this life is a punishment (for lack of a better word) where I am paying my karmic debt. I have trouble seeing myself as anything good which, I think, is part of the debt. People tell me I am talented, amazing, and all sorts of amazing things but I just can’t see it. I wish that for one day, I could see myself through someone else’s eyes.

Here is a minor example. I drew this picture of my cat, Sweetie. People say it is amazing and I did a great job. I don’t see it. I don’t see why it is so good. I can see all my mistakes though.

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I think the disconnection I feel is just a part of my karmic debt. I can connect just enough so that I am not completely isolated emotionally. But, if I bond with someone or get close to them, they are taken away in one form or another. I am supposed to be alone this life (this much I know). At some point I may bond with someone and they won’t disappear, and then I will know my karmic debt is paid. It may not happen in this life. If it doesn’t, then I know it will happen early in my next life and we will be very close.

Until then, I only have enough bonding to keep me from going insane. When I meet a person that I instantly feel like I could bond with, I find myself pushing them away. Not because I don’t want to have a bond with people but because I don’t want my friends to keep dying off at an amazing rate and in violent manners. I imagine that the person who pushes back and won’t go away… I imagine that is the person that will help me see my worth and finally have my debt paid.

So, if you are my friend and wonder why I tend to run away and not get close to you, this is why. It’s my punishment. And I am sorry for it but I don’t know how to change it, or make it better, or make my friends stop disappearing, or make them stop dying, or make them stay without clinging to them so much that they start to hate me. But mostly, I am sorry.

I don’t know what karmic debt I am repaying but I hurt someone really bad and now, I am paying for it with this life. There are no words that can convey my sorrow.

50 Questions: Top 5 Blogs I Visit

I chose this for my next topic: Top 5: Share a post with the top 5 blogs you just can’t get enough of. As a mini continued celebration of my six years on WordPress. I am not positive all of these are blogs but I visit them often. In no particular order…

SQUIRREL ALERT!

I just learned that I can change my font size for my list posts! That is so cool! Okay, back to the original post…

#1 Blog I Love to Visit: One Good Thing by Jillee

 One Good Thing by Jillee
Screenshot by Dotchi

One Good Thing by Jillee is a great blog. I think I found this one while searching for a recipe for a cleaning product because I mostly make my own or just use soap and water. I started browsing here site and fell in love. She has recipes, tips, and tricks for cleaning, laundry, health and beauty, gardening, green living, holidays, and more.

#2 Blog I Love to Visit: ProBlogger

Problogger

I found ProBlogger, Darren Rowse, years ago when I was trying to turn blogging into an real job. He has great tips and advice and there is new content daily. If you click here to visit ProBlogger, anything you buy will help me make a little extra money.

I have three of his books and I really love them. They were very helpful and I strongly recommend the book “31 Days to Building a Better Blog” if you are working on making blogging your career. I am more wanting to blog for fun and not so much as a career. That way, if I make a little money, WOOHOO! but I am not expecting it.

Before I bought anything, I visited his site for about a year. I found it very helpful and interesting to read; and I really loved the post “7 Days to Rediscovering Your Blogging Groove“.

#3 Blogs I Love to Visit: Digital Photography School

Also from Darren Rowse is the blog Digital Photography School. (I get nothing for you clicking that link). While eventually I will probably buy his books on the site, I haven’t bought any so I don’t feel right sharing them through an affiliate link on here yet. He is a great blogger and all the content on the site has kept me intrigued and coming back for more which is why I added it here.

This blog helped me with my photography skills a lot and I am hoping on day that photography and blogging will be more than just hobbies. I am gaining confidence in both with Darren’s help.

After all that, if you are cool with that and don’t mind helping me out a little if you do buy something, then click here to visit Digital Photography School through my affiliate link.

#4 Blogs I Love to Visit: Hillbilly Housewife

Hillbilly Housewife

I am a fan of this blog! I think it’s a blog. If not, oh well, I love this one anyway! Hillbilly Housewife is where I like to go for recipes. I found her YEARS ago when I lived in Tennessee. I moved from Tennessee in 2006. I think I was using this before I worked as a CNA which would be 2003. Really, this is my long-term place to visit on the web.

I successfully used their $40 a week emergency menu for a family of four to six people. When I used it, the groceries were $30 a week. In 2009, it was $70 a week. But the emergency menu is still a valuable resource.

I totally LOVE the Magic Milk Shake recipe! It tastes JUST like a Wendy’s Frosty and it’s super cheap to make. If you are allergic to milk, you can try it with a powdered milk alternative, like coconut or almond. Just make sure there isn’t any casein in it.

#5 Blogs I Love to Visit: A2Z Homeschool

A2Z Homeschooling

I started homeschooling my children in 2001 and A2Z Homeschool became my gold mine of resources, information, and support. I’ve been using this site wince 2001 and I am STILL finding new and interesting things to read on there. The best part is that they are religiously neutral. They share information on religious and secular homeschooling alike and share the information without bias.

Just for a sampling of what they offer… they have information on laws for each state, laws for other countries,  curriculum, homeschool programs, homeschooling for free, lessons and ideas, unschooling, and so much more!

Seriously, I want to meet Ann Zeise and hug her. This is the best resource ever.


Your turn! What are the top 5 blogs you love to visit?