I have not fallen off the planet, I just needed to take some much-needed time for quiet introspection. I was having a really hard time and I tried to get back into blogging and YouTube but it just wasn’t happening for me.
Those of you who know me in real life know that at the end of June I actually got a job! I was thrilled. I was on cloud nine. It looked like my life was taking the turn I needed. And then about two weeks later I was fired. I was devastated.
I don’t know why I was fired and they didn’t have to tell me because it was during my probation period but, they said it wasn’t my performance. I did very well. I have some ideas of why but nothing that I can prove. I would love to know why because if it’s something I can fix, then maybe it will help me keep a job.
Not knowing why, I felt like I didn’t have a good direction to go. From a comment made during my firing, I know it’s something in my background. I spent time researching my background and ordered a full background check. Nothing. I am a good girl. All I can tell you from that background check is that I move a lot, have kids and a husband, own land in Tennessee, and no one can spell my name correctly.
But for bettering myself? Yea, I have no idea. That is why I decided to check out from social media (except for family) and really take a good hard look at my life. Like, I really met it face to face. I finally believe the doctors (from years ago) who told me I would never work outside my home again. I believe them now. I didn’t want to believe them before but I fully do now.
I am never going to be able to hold a job outside of my house so I need to focus on what I do best. As much as that hurts to say, I accept that. I don’t have to like it to accept it. So I am accepting it.
And now I will focus on what I am best at… Writing. Because I am not letting this depression get the best of me! I set goals for this month to keep me focused.
Goals for this month
My goals for this month are easy so I can get back into my groove.
- Each week I will make six posts.
- Each post will start with a letter of the alphabet. Nov 1 is A. Nov 2 is B. Nov 3 is C. And so on.
- All posts will be about positive things or will be about something that I am grateful for.
I am hoping to get on YouTube video in each week but we’ll see how that goes for now. I am definitely working on this.
I want to make it to where this is my full-time “job” so that I make it my habit.
I am looking forward to this. Since I won’t be getting a job… ever… I am back to blogging full-time! WOOHOO!