50 Questions: Rumors – What You Think About Me Vs The Real Me

Who do people think you are, compared to who you really are?

I am not even sure where to start with this one. I live in a small town and I hear a lot of the rumors about me. I could write a list a mile long. Some of my “family” won’t talk to me because of their incorrect ideas about me. It hurts to hear sometimes. But, most of the time I just sit back, shake my head, and laugh it off.

I think of myself more like this…

OMG! A REAL Picture of ME!

I am starting to think other people think of me like this

Crazy Bitch

But really… this is me right here…

I got this pic at http://merrymusing.wordpress.com/2011/10/21/tired-from-work/
I found this pic here 

Here are some of the “best” rumors I have heard so far.

Rumor #1: I am a drug addict

My whole life, the only illegal drug I did was Marijuana. That’s right! I haven’t done anything else. I was always very careful about my use of Marijuana also. I used it for the first time on my 26th birthday. I had a migraine, no migraine medicine, and I was at a joint birthday party for me and J. I didn’t want to leave and no one could drive me home. T offered a joint as a birthday toke-n. I took it. My migraines didn’t come back for three months. For three months, I didn’t smoke again.

Yes, I use it as medicine. No, I don’t abuse it. Even today, with a medical marijuana card, I use it as a medicine. Why? Because I don’t like being high. That’s why I make tincture (to downgrade the THC to CBN) and take CBD oil (with like .94% THC). I like being in control of my actions.

So for all of you who say I am a pill popper, drug snorter, inject-ee (what do you call those?), or someone who is high all the time… get a hobby.

Rumor #2: I am an alcoholic

Yes, I am. Sort of. I am a recovered alcoholic.

I only drink with reckless abandon once a year, December 31 into January 1. Although I am rethinking that tradition. I am rethinking that tradition. If I do drink during the year, it is one cup of wine or one cup of candy cane (a delicious alcoholic drink) or something like that. I drink ONE drink. I haven’t had a drink since… I don’t know… it’s been months. I had a cup of wine.

While I don’t do AA or anything like that, I do control my drinking very strictly. I am not one who believes in the abstinence theory. While it may work for some, it is not for me. I go with a limited allowance. I don’t think a 12-step program would be good for me at all. I looked into it at one point but I am not okay with the idea of saying I am “powerless” to something. I am not powerless to alcohol. I very much control my behavior.

It’s the same for when I finally quit smoking. I had to break the addiction. Like I said before, I like being in control of my actions. I am weird like that. But I can also have one cup of wine and be happy with that for a while.

I substituted my drinking with… A HOBBY!

Rumor #3: I am a Lesbian

GEDSC DIGITAL CAMERA
Gay Pride! Go LGBTQIA!

First… a bit of a rant… Why does my sexual orientation matter to anyone? Who cares? It’s like you guys sit around picking out the gays, the lesbians, the – anyone who isn’t straight. Who cares? You say it like it’s a bad thing. What if I am a lesbian? Would it matter to you? Would it change me as a person? Would it make you like me less? If it does, I don’t need you as a friend.

The answer: I am a bi-romantic, bisexual – but leaning toward asexual 90% of the time. Go ahead. Think about that for a while. Since you have nothing better to do. Here is a wonderful idea for a hobby! Research sexuality and how it doesn’t matter to anyone else who you love and who you screw.

Rumor #4: I kidnapped my children when I moved to Montana

This one really hurts. It hurts more knowing that people out there believe this but didn’t bother asking me for my side of the story and instead went and spread it some more.

For those of you who didn’t spread this crap around, thank you for asking me so I could tell you my side of the story.

For the real story, I moved up here with my kids with my husband’s blessings. I knew I couldn’t leave California and move with them without it. I am not as stupid as people think I am. When I moved here, he knew – and agreed to it.

For those of you that spread this, fuck you. Get a hobby!

Rumor #5: I left my husband during a mid-life crisis

I swear… This one annoys me more than anything. After all I put up with and how I patiently waited for him to pull himself together. I don’t plan on roasting him on this blog though. We both had issues. But it wasn’t a “mid-life crisis” by any stretch of the imagination. We were not compatible as partners and I couldn’t stay anymore.

I realized that it was unhealthy to stay in the relationship and I didn’t want to raise my children in that toxic environment anymore. That toxic environment was not ONLY my fault and it was not ONLY his fault. It was OUR fault as neither of us really wanted to work on the real issues. WE were BOTH responsible for our marriage ending. No relationship is wholly one-sided.

We are now friends and co-parents and we work better this way. I realize now that we can never live together. We are not compatible house mates even though we are good friends. If you don’t understand this thinking, try to find that one friend that you love as a friend but would have serious issues if you had to move into their house with them. It is possible to be friends and not want to live with the person or have a sexual relationship with them. I know it may seem foreign to some of you.

If this causes you massive issues and you just can’t wrap your mind around it, GET A HOBBY!

Rumor #6: I am rich and don’t have to work

Oh how I WISH! That would be freaking AWESOME! I’ll let you know when the books come out so you can help me reach that goal. Thanks in advance for your support.

In the meantime, get a hobby!

Rumor #7: I am faking my epilepsy/ fibromyalgia and really don’t have them.

I heard this one over and over and over. Here is a screenshot from a doctor’s visit.

11 04 2015

And now you know more about me than before. Of course, if someone wanted to know if I really have these problems, they could come over for a cup of coffee and I’ll show you all the medical files I have here. I would post the allergy list but it’s pretty long. Wanna see it? Come over for coffee. Email me and ask. Call and ask. Send a text and ask.

It’s really not that hard. Just ask. Why I would make up a medical problem is beyond me. I have enough to choose from already. Why people spread this crap around is beyond me. Get a hobby!

Rumor #8: I am a Pagan who used to live on a commune

Oh that sounds like a ton of fun! But no, I didn’t live on the commune. I VISITED the commune for holy days and celebrations. It was my way of being around people who shared my beliefs… or at least didn’t care what my beliefs are.

I am a Scientific Pantheist and a Pastafarian, if you are curious. I think the two mingle nicely. Of course, someone could just ask me. I love sharing my beliefs over a pizza or a pasta bowl.

This one just amuses me but it would be nice if people would ask instead of spreading it around.

Rumor #9: My husband and I agreed to send the kids to public school in Montana

Partly true! Wow. That one is almost legit. But not quite. We agreed together, and he made an agreement with the kids, that we would continue homeschooling through the holidays so it would be easier for us to travel back to California to spend the holidays with their dad. When school started back after the holiday break, we would go have them enrolled in the public school here. That was the original agreement.

Why this didn’t happen is still a bit of a confusion to me. He backed out of the deal after we were up here and I felt it wasn’t worth a fight. So they started public school right away. It doesn’t really matter why it didn’t happen. I am not angry about it. I was a bit hurt about it when it happened, actually, I was really hurt. But it happened. The past is now the past and we moved on. And got hobbies!

Rumor #10: I started homeschooling my kids without my husband’s consent.

Do you people have nothing better to do? I am going to make a list of hobby ideas for all of you and post it by this weekend!

This one usually refers to Montana. But I will start at the beginning.

I asked about homeschooling in the beginning and we eventually agreed to homeschool. It was not done unilaterally then. We BOTH agreed. Although we did have a lot of discussions about it beforehand.

In Montana, HE is the one that wanted me to start homeschooling again. At first I said no because I didn’t want to be blamed for anything going wrong. But, we discussed it again and eventually agreed to start homeschooling again.

I did not make that decision by myself either time.

Rumor #11: I am a paraplegic

What the… seriously? I injured my lower back. I didn’t sever my spine. I have a protruding disc, not a broken back. Yes, I have a days where my legs are weak and I hurt like hell and it’s hard to walk… but I am not a paraplegic and if you hear that, tell the moron to GET A HOBBY!

What to do if you hear something about me.

Ask me. Wow, that was hard.

Now I am off to make a list of hobbies for petty people who have nothing better to do than spread rumors about people!

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Poem By Me: Low

I found this poem that I wrote on Tumblr. I don’t go on there often. I wrote it in 2009 and promptly forgot about it. I decided to share it here so I don’t lose it again.

Low

I feel low even though I shouldn’t
You said I talked, even though I wouldn’t.
And I am feeling your words blow
My mind went numb and I felt low.
Not for long because I have seen this so much
A town so small and so out of touch
You people bicker and banter and blame everyone else
When you should be thinking what you said yourself.
I kept your secrets. The dark ones and the deep.
I kept my mouth shut. Not even a peep.
And you still blamed me when it’s somebody else
Too bad you blamed me and not yourself.
But I know the secrets you slipped and told her
I’m not carrying that burden upon my shoulders
You messed up. Not me. And I won’t take the blame.
You slandered yourself… ruined your own name.
I’ll still keep those secrets until the end
But I am truly, forever, no longer your friend.

50 Questions: Nine Things I Just Can’t Handle (Get your puke bag ready)

What are 9 things you just can’t handle?

I figured since today is an “ass planted firmly in chair” day, I would answer a longer one and get caught up so my blogs posts are going live between two and four a.m. (That is what I am always aiming for).

Now, for the nine things I just can’t handle! There isn’t much that grosses me out (I was a CNA) so I had to go to my “anxiety inducing” list for the rest.

I Can’t Handle It #1: Decomposing Meat

I could not find an image that didn’t make me want to hurl. There are a few gory stories to go with it.

Gory Story #1: We had ran an animal rescue when I lived in Tennessee. We had a couple mom dog with puppies dropped off. There were so many dogs and we were trying to find them all homes. At one point, we had about 20 something dogs, I don’t remember how many cats, a couple birds, and some fish. All rescues! As we were finding homes for them it was getting a little easier to manage.

Every morning I would go outside, count adults, count the puppies, separate them into groups and then start feeding them all. It was a lot of work but totally worth it. One day I went outside and there was one puppy missing named Polka Dots.

SQUIRREL ALERT!

GEDSC DIGITAL CAMERA

I just went to Google to see if I could find a photo of any of our puppies from years and years and years ago.

I didn’t find one… BUT I did just spend about 20 minutes surfing through photos of puppies on Google Image Search.

They are so freaking adorable! I almost want one… almost.

Back to the post…

So we fed the dogs and then later we went looking for the puppy… Nowhere to be found. Understand, we lived on eight acres of land with woods on it. So the puppy could be anywhere. We looked all day. No sign of little Polka Dots.

Next day, still nothing… I think you can see where this is going, right? It was about a week later and the neighbors called us. At this point, we could smell this rotting flesh smell but could not find the source even though we all suspected it was Polka Dots. The neighbors tell us that they found the missing dog near one of the trees at the border of our properties. It had died and was decomposing. My son and I grabbed trash bags and supplies and headed down there.

Through all this story… I have been trying not to gag… Brace yourself, it gets worse. If you are easily grossed out, you may want to skip to the next (much shorter) story.

SO, we get to the tree and I am gagging from the putrid smell that is now twiddling my nostril hairs and rubbing my uvula (link to uvula for you pervs). I managed to contain my gagging and dry heaving long enough to try to get the puppy into the bag. We had gloves, a shovel, and anything else we thought would help get Polka Dots off the ground as generally speaking, I am creeped out by dead things.

My son went to just pick him up and his skin just rolled off him body leaving behind a gooey, deep reddish black, liquid mess, that started pouring out with a tidal waves of maggots squirming out behind it … I think I am going to puke … Anyway, at that point I finally lost it and threw up. The smell of decomposing Polka Dots was just too much for me. The sight of vomit covered decomposing Polka Dots and maggots covered in reddish black goo was … *dry heaves* Okay, next story… screw this. Suffice it to say, it was bad and very gory and I couldn’t handle it!

Gory Story #2: Ham in the car.

We went shopping an bought a months worth of groceries in Tennessee in July. When we got home, we emptied the car of food stuffs and put it all away. Later that month, I went to make the ham I bought only to realize it wasn’t in the freezer. I shrugged it off as something I just forgot to buy and let it go.

Mini squirrel alert! I hate that song!

By the end of the month, I made a new grocery list and we were ready to go shopping again. Part of getting ready to go was cleaning out the car. I open the doors was hit by a wave of funk that wasn’t as bad as Polka Dots, the puppy, but I ended up puking in the yard.

The ham had rolled up under the driver’s seat and was rotting for a month in a car in the Tennessee summer heat (of like 104 with 97% humidity!). If you didn’t know me better, you would have thought I killed someone and shoved their body in the trunk of my car and forgot to dump them somewhere. It took MONTHS to get that smell out of the car!

I Can’t Handle It #2: Skunk Smell

pepe le pew quotes Google Search

Do I really need to give a wordy story on this one? I mean, I can’t really think of anyone who is like, “Oh em gee! I love the smell of skunk! Spray it on me, baby!”

As a side note/ slight squirrel alert: We found that Odoban in a 1:1 ratio mix with water, actually kills the smell of skunk. You have to really drench the area with it and then let it air dry.

I get nothing for saying this. I just really like Odoban.

I Can’t Handle It #3: Stupid People

I am not talking about people who have a blonde moment or a that time where you lose your train of thought. I mean those times when people argue with me over things that are stupid. Someone actually argued that eggs are dairy so I shouldn’t eat them because I have trouble with milk.

Eggs are NOT dairy. Dairy is something that comes from the mammary glands of cows like, milk, cheese, yogurt, etc. Eggs do not come from cows. It comes from chickens butts, not cow boobs.

Or when people argue with me that I can eat a little piece of something that I am allergic to. No, no I can’t. Well, okay, technically I could but I don’t feel like dying. Thanks anyway!

I Can’t Handle It #4: Vomit

I am not googling this one either. Actually, I just did. WHY do people actually post pictures of their friends puking? They posted it on the internet. That is so NASTY! EW!

Vomit actually makes me want to vomit. Eeeew…

I Can’t Handle It #5: Crying Babies

crying baby Google SearchPut the pitch forks and flamethrowers back. Before you send the death threats, this isn’t one where I would be mean about it. It’s not that I would kick a baby or something.

Hearing a crying baby makes me want to cry too. It tugs at my heartstrings. I just want to pick them up, hold them to my chest, and drip tears all over their itty bitty baby heads. And Probably snot too.

When my babies cried, I would comfort them. If they didn’t stop crying, I would just start sobbing. I can’t handle crying. Come to think of it, when anyone is crying I usually fight back tears. I am such a wuss when it comes to crying people. Babies crying will put me in tears almost every time.

I Can’t Handle It #6: Food that bleeds

I don’t eat meat very often any more. I tend to lean towards a lacto-ovo vegetarian diet. Although I do have meat a couple of times a month because when you can’t cook for yourself, you are left to the mercy of those who cook for you. Usually I just get a share of whatever they are cooking.

But if you are going to cook meat for me, it better not show up to my table still bleeding. That is so disgusting! I mean, it’s bad enough that I have to eat it and hurt afterwards. I don’t want to taste it coming back up again. Bloody beef is fucking nasty! I would rather starve.

At the request of someone I am close to, I did try it once. All I tasted was blood for days! That is truly a vile taste. I can see wanting to eat meat but for fuck’s sake cook it first!

I Can’t Handle It #7: Thinking of things to add to a list post

Usually when I write a list post, I think of the title I want to work with. Like “Weird things I found on Amazon”. Then I browse Amazon and find things like this to add to the list.

Amazon.com 13 Inches Above Dildos Sex Toys Health Personal Care

OH MY GOD! Seriously? WHY? Like who the hell would use that thing???

Then when I am done, I count up the weird things I found on Amazon and name the new post like this, “Five really weird things I found on Amazon”.

Having a number picked out for me makes my brain shut off for some reason. Nine things? I made it to #7 and I am struggling.

I Can’t Handle It #8: Trying to think of anything else for this list…

Seriously, I have run out of things for the list. Nothing really bothers me that much. For sticking around this far, here is a picture of beads I made with paper and sharpies…

2014-02-09_22-50-39_888

I Can’t Handle It #9: Christmas Music.

Oh wait. I actually thought of one!

Don’t judge me. I like holidays lights.

One that annoys the crap out of me and makes me want to hurt someone (not literally) is Christmas music.

I can not STAND Christmas music.

It is SO fucking annoying! Like, it just grates on my last damned nerve. It makes me want to listen to death metal for the whole month.

It isn’t bad enough that it’s all shit music all the time for all of December… now they have it playing in November too.

WHY do all the songs have to suck so bad? I could just lock myself in my apartment for all of December.

And another thing! Christmas is on December 25th, not all month. I get so pissy because all month people are saying, “Merry Christmas”. It isn’t Christmas yet. Shut the fuck up! I’m going to start saying “Happy New Year” all December long.

I AM CRAZY! I have PROOF!

Sorry for the late posting. I went to therapy today and started with, “I am crazy. I just know I am. I have lost my damned mind.” My Psychologist laughed and was all, “No you are not!” And I said, “I have PROOF!” So she humored me and listened.

First, don’t Google anything yet. Make notes and then compare them to what you remember and what Google says.

Remember Jiffy peanut butter?

I remember Jiffy peanut butter. Not Jif! JIFFY! My kids remember Jiffy peanut butter. In fact, they remember when it switched over to the name “Jif” because I bitched about it for about a month because I couldn’t my beloved Jiffy. Everyone in my apartment building remembers Jiffy. My mom remembers Jiffy. My friends remember Jiffy.

It was JIFFY. Not Skippy. JIFFY! Jiffy peanut butter was the bomb!

So I sent an email to Jif asking when they changed the name. Here is the email I got back. Remember… no Googling yet!

Reference Number 10680945 dotchi gmail.com Gmail

In case you can’t read it because of screen size, it says,

“… the name Jif was chosen because it was easy to say, spell and remember. It was never called Jiffy.”

Stay with me on this… changing subjects. This is NOT a squirrel alert! And stay off Google until I am done.

Berenst_in Bears Books

Remember the lovable anthropomorphic family of bears that lived in a tree and had wonderful lessons to teach in each book? How did you spell the name?

Berenstein?

Berenstain?

Write it down. Visualize the book in your head. If you have a book nearby, no peeking.

Back to therapy

So, I told my psychologist about these two things. I made sure she agreed with me that Jiffy peanut butter was real and that she spelled the bears names like I remembered. Then I blew her mind…

Jiffy peanut butter never existed. Ever. It isn’t a thing.

I remember spelling it, “BerenstEin”. How did you spell it? Write it down. Okay, now Google it.

It is spelled BerenstAin. I swear to you it was spelled with an E. She said, “No. It was spelled with an E.” and objected to the non-existence of Jiffy peanut butter.

She didn’t believe me SO much so that she went and got her computer and brought it in the counseling room and googled it herself. She seriously thought I was bullshitting her. The look on her face and the gasp of shock as she saw this was totally worth all the happy pills in the world.

I would like to stop and take a moment to proudly announce that I am so crazy that I am taking my Psychologist with me! Not sure if that counts as a squirrel alert or not…

Yes, my psychologist was blown away.

Okay, now go search for Jiffy peanut butter. It doesn’t exist. It never has. The ONLY thing I could find was in a cartoon. You can see it here. Does that look like Jiffy peanut butter to you? It is super close to me! But other than that one picture, I cannot find it. In fact, if you Google “Jiffy peanut butter” you get this…

Jiffy peanut butter Google Search

Don’t believe me? Try it for yourself.

What the fuck!?

In case you are checking to make sure you took your meds today, you can put the lid back on your bottle. It’s called the Mandela effect.

It was named that because MANY people vividly remember Nelson Mandela dying in the 70’s or 80’s while in prison. Do you remember that? Brace yourself… He died December 5, 2013. Here is the WIkipedia page.

If you think I am totally batshit crazy, you can check out The Mandela Effect’s Major Memories page and start scrolling. They have a list of them. I had to Google some of them because I was like, “No. It’s BarbAra Streisand! Not Barbra!” *types in Google* “Wait. Whaaaa….???” The comments have other ones so enjoy the read.

Have you experienced the Mandela effect? Let me know in the comments. I am curious to hear your experiences.

If you think we are all crazy, that’s cool (check the title of my blog), we still love ya!

50 Questions: 10 Things That Annoy Me

 What is that thing that really gets your goat?

There are things in day-to-day life that really annoy me. Here are my top ten in no specific order.

10 Things that annoy me #1: Leaving the door open

door open clip art - Google Search (2)When people come over, I usually yell, “Come in!” because it’s less painful than walking over to the door. When I do this, I expect you to walk in and immediately shut the door. Most people I know will open the door full swing, walk in, and leave it hanging wide open for all the cats to escape. I am not chasing them. (You let them out. You bring them back.)

It’s not just when they are coming in either. I have had people who are leaving the apartment who stand there with the door hanging wide open while they say their last good-bye and tell me what they forget to tell me and say they loved the coffee. Do that shit BEFORE you open the door, THEN open the door, get the fuck out of my apartment, and close it as soon as your two feet are out in the hallway and your body is no longer obstructing the door.

Why do people do this? Seriously! WHY!? I don’t want the hallway heat in here. Shut the fucking door!

10 Things that annoy me #2: Sitting in my chair

If you come into my home, know that there are a few rules. No smoking inside. No vaporizing inside. No peanuts, turkey, corn, or perfume allowed. And don’t sit in my chair!

I paid good money for a chair that works for my medical needs. It reclines, it has a heating pad, it has a massage feature, and it can stand me up when I can’t stand up by myself. I bought the chair specifically for me, not for my guests. I have a couch, two folding moon chairs, four dining room chairs, and two folding chairs that you can sit in. Pick one. But stay out of my chair!

If you don’t know this rule and you come over to visit and sit in my chair, when I say “get out of my chair” don’t argue with me. It’s my house! If I say get out of my chair, then GET OUT OF MY CHAIR! Don’t tell me no. I will kick you out in a heartbeat!

10 Things that annoy me #3: Wiping your hands on my furniture

Death in a bag
Death in a bag

I get it. You guys love to eat your very unhealthy, triangular-shaped, orange dust holders. What most don’t understand is that crap is made from corn. Since people love to argue with about ingredients, here is a link to the ingredients list. Click the little circle that says “see the nutrition info” so that you can view the ingredients list.

It has corn meal, corn oil, maltodextrin (from corn), and corn flour. How is this NOT made from corn?

If you remember up above, one of the things on the list is “NO CORN” for our apartment. That is because corn burns my youngest son’s skin like acid. He is very allergic to it.

So when people come in to visit with Doritos or Cheetos, I get upset. But when I find that dust shit on my furniture, I get angry. I have to disinfect the couch when you do that. Why can’t you just use a napkin… or not bring it in my house? Respect people and their allergies.

10 Things that annoy me #4: Arguing with me about food

I don’t care what you think when it comes to food. I have read the ingredients. I know what is in the food I am eating and in the food you are bringing into the house. Arguing with me is just going to piss me off. I am thinking of this scenario:

Friend: Want a piece?

Me: No thanks.

Friend: Why? Are you allergic to it?

Me: Yea. I am.

Friend: But I thought you could have [food they are eating]

Me: That’s store-bought so it has [ingredient I am allergic to] so I can’t have it. I can have it if I make it from scratch though.

Friend: No, it does not have that in it. It’s [name of food]. It doesn’t have [ingredient] in it.

Me: Read the ingredients.

Friend: *reads ingredients* Oh. Wow. I didn’t know that was in there. Weird.

I know! It’s like I have read the ingredients a thousand times over a decade and actually know what’s in the food you are eating better than you! WEIRD!

Or another example… and remember… this is a REAL conversation. I shit you not.

Friend: We should have spaghetti and meatballs this weekend. *holding up wheat pasta*

Me: I am allergic to wheat.

Friend: Oh, what happens if you eat wheat?

Me: First puking. Then I go into delayed anaphylaxis.

Friend: Oh that sucks! We need to find a spaghetti noodle you can have!

Me: They have rice noodles I just don’t have the brand I like right now.

Friend: Well we can find something here so you can have dinner with us this weekend.

Me: It’s a lot harder than you think it is.

Friend: OH! I know! We can get a box of that whole wheat pasta and make that for you.

Me: But I am allergic to wheat.

Friend: Yea, but it’s WHOLE wheat so it’s healthy.

Me: But I am ALLERGIC to wheat.

Friend: But if we get WHOLE wheat, you’ll be able to eat it.

Me: That’s not how it works. It doesn’t matter if it’s healthy. If I am allergic to it, then I can’t eat it.

Friend: Well, maybe just eat a little bit then.

Me: I would still go into anaphylaxis.

Friend: Even with whole wheat?

Okay, maybe I should just change this one to “Things that annoy me: Stupid People.” instead.

10 Things that annoy me #5: Having to click more than one link

click - Google SearchI hate it when I am searching for something, like a recipe, and I click on a page in Google search. It takes me to the page but it’s just a post about how they tried the recipe and loved it. It was actually on this blog and then has you click there. So I click on that link only to find that it was another blogger and they were posting how they like it but next time they’ll change it to… CLICK… and there is the recipe… sort of. It’s actually the step-by-step guide to how this person does it. And click! And there is the recipe.

Why is it so hard to just post a link to the recipe in your blog instead of having us click through an ocean of blog posts? I end up doing this for crafts and patterns too. It is so freaking annoying. I just want to make a crochet dick! Why do I have to click on every person’s post about how cute their crochet manhood is when I JUST WANT THE FREAKING PATTERN!

And deep breath in…

10 Things that annoy me #6: When you think I should be able to XYZ

1102131451 If I had a dollar for every time I hear someone says, “Well, this person is allergic to blablabla but they can eat it”. I would be a billionaire 30 times over. Just because that person is mildly allergic to the same thing I am, does not mean that I can do what they can. It also doesn’t mean we have the same reactions to the same allergen.

The time I am thinking of is when someone told me, “Well, this person is allergic to the sun and they went biking 10 miles (or whatever it was).” Well, That person is sensitive to the sun and their symptoms are mild and not at all horrible.

Want to know what happens when I go in the sun too long? See that picture? 20 minutes in the sunshine does that to me. If I medicate quickly, it doesn’t get too horrible. If I don’t, it BURNS! It hurts and feels like acid is being poured on my skin. It usually means I have a heat reaction too which leads to angioedema attacks and epi-pens and rides to the ER in an ambulance.

It’s not worth it. And no, I don’t want to sit in the shade and watch everyone else have fun. Thanks anyway.

10 Things that annoy me #7: People who won’t shut up!

shut up - Google SearchI’ll admit it, I have my chatty Cathy moments. I can talk up a storm at times. But when I am watching a movie, if someone starts talking, I get really annoyed. I want to be able to hear what is going on and you talking all through it is annoying. I can’t hear what they are saying when you are blabbing in my ear.

Especially if you are telling me what is about to happen. If I wanted to hear you tell me about the movie, I’d sit and listen to you instead of watching the movie. If I am watching the movie, assume I can figure out the plot from watching the movie without your commentary.

Or, the other one that drives me nuts… when you are looking for something and you are walking around giving a running commentary.

“Okay. I looked here. I even lifted up the paper just in case. Gah! I can’t believe I lost it. It has to be here somewhere. Maybe if I check in the kitchen. I don’t think I was in there but… I’ll look anyway. Oh em gee! Marvin is going to be irritated. This is the fifteenth time that I lost it just this week.”

Shut up. I don’t need to hear your thought process. In my defense, with the chronic pain, I get sensory overload quickly. I can only handle so much noise. But having a running dialog with yourself if really annoying!

10 Things that annoy me #8: Saying you can drive me, then backing out last-minute

you had one job meme I can’t drive anymore because I have epilepsy. That means I am dependent on everyone else for a ride to my doctor’s appointments. I would take public transportation here but 1) You have to set up an appointment for your ride with 24 hours notice or more and 2) They are not understanding of heat allergies… at all. Because I like to not have to stab myself in the leg with an epi-pen, I ask friends if they can drive me. I pay them whatever Medicaid will reimburse me for transportation.

And what happens about 70% of the time? The person backs out last-minute, with less than 12 hours until my appointment, and leaves me scrambling to find a ride. Never freaking fails either! Why? If you say you can drive me, why back out last-minute? That is rude and not a very good friend. I could see if it were an emergency. I wouldn’t even complain about it if it were. But some of the excuses make me think that I am not really that important. Here are some of the excuses.

  • Oh. I forgot. (When I reminded the person weekly, then daily)
  • My friend needs to borrow my car. She hasn’t visited her mom in about a week.
  • I just don’t want to. In fact, I didn’t want to in the first place. I just didn’t know how to tell you. How about saying, “I don’t want to.” when I ask.
  • I don’t feel like going today.
  • I told someone else I would ride with them to Idaho and I would feel bad if I told them no.

And people wonder why I don’t like people. And people wonder why I don’t feel loved or important to others. And people wonder why I have low self-esteem.

10 Things that annoy me #9: People who steal from me or lie to me

trust quotesThis has to do with trust. I tend to trust people I meet, as a general rule. It annoys the hell out of me when people lie to me though. I am not sure if it’s because they lied or because they thought I was stupid enough to believe their line of crap. This goes for people who change their stories too. I may not say anything to you about it, but trust me, I caught your lies and story changes.

I also don’t understand why people steal from me. I have had jewelry go missing, clothes, bags of clothes, medications, entire rolls of trash bags, toilet paper rolls, bottles of shampoo, dishes, SD cards … The list is long. I could fill and entire post with things stolen from me. The thing I don’t get is… if you asked, I would give you the shirt off my back. There is no need to steal. Hungry? I will give you food. Tired? You can sleep on my bed. Need a blanket? I have plenty. Thirsty? I will give you a cup of water or coffee… and you can keep the cup.

The only thing people do by lying to me and stealing things from me, is they lose my trust. That is VERY difficult to earn back. I will probably never trust you again. More than anything, it annoys me that people are dishonest to me.

10 Things that annoy me #10: Reading over my shoulder

Can barely read your screen from here - Futurama Fry   Meme GeneratorThis is what I want to do to someone when they read over my shoulder… right here.

If I am on my computer or phone, don’t read over my shoulder. I am a private person. I like to browse the Internet without everyone looking over my shoulder. It’s rude.

I have a personal bubble and I don’t like people in that space. for this very reason, I have my chair in a corner of the living room so no one can stand behind me, breathing down my neck, viewing my Facebook as I scroll or support board that is pretty personal.

What I am doing on my computer is none of your business. So when people sit down on the couch next to my chair and stretch their neck over to see what’s going on and see what I am typing, it is annoying as hell. STOP THAT! It’s none of your business what I am doing on here. I should not have to hide my porn Facebook feed or chat from people!


There you have it. I got it off my chest and I feel better!

What annoys you? Share in the comments.