Cabinet Peaks Medical Center – My how You Have Improved!

I didn’t post this week because of this. I thought I would share why.

Back Story – Before the ER Trip

I was having a blast with friends when I cross contaminated the pan I was using but didn’t realize it.

I figured it out a lot later. The oil brush I was using to coat the pan was the same one I used to coat the pan when I made pork for the boys. I made two batches of pork. I brushed the pan with oil between batches. The brush ended up with pork juices on it… and then I forgot to put it in the contamination sink OOPS!

So I am cooking, talking, and having a grand old time. My first tortilla gets done, the egg gets done (so that’s two things I have cooked in pork oil on both sides). I take a bite and swallow. I went to say something and as soon as I opened my mouth, I couldn’t breathe. At first I thought, “Must be something in my throat…” (why is that always my first thought???) and went for the sink to spit out everything in my mouth when I realized, DUH, I swallowed my food. I could feel that “marble stuck in my throat” feeling and I knew my throat was swelling… and it itched SO BAD!

AND Epi-pen to the leg!

At this point, my friend comes over and is cracking jokes about the Heimlich maneuver. When she sees me turning purple and asks in a serious tone, “Are you okay?” I managed to squeak out, “Epi”, and she went to get it. Of course, this is the one time I didn’t have my Epi-Pen on me in the kitchen.

I got the pen and stabbed myself in the leg and screw counting to ten. I just held it there until I could gasp for air in large quantities. Once I could breathe again, I did a quick count to ten then massaged the spot on my leg where I injected. My friend went to get my son and he helped me by getting the Benadryl. That’s when I noticed I was out of ranitidine (I found the back up bottle this morning. I have just enough to last until shopping day). I thought, “Meh. It’ll be fine.” and just took the Benadryl.

After 15 minutes (ish), I was still breathing okay. But, my throat still itched pretty bad (just not as bad as earlier). I was having waves of nausea so bad I was sure I was going to throw up any second.

Disclaimer: If you have to use your Epi-pen, call 911 and go to the hospital immediately. I have dealt with allergies since I was 9 years old. I know my body quite well. If I was responsible, I would go to the ER right away. But I deal with them often enough that I am not going to the ER every single time (even though I know I should). 

“But Dotchi, how is this different from your regular nausea?”

With my regular nausea, it’s the nausea where you think, “Man. I feel sick to my stomach and if I could only puke, I would feel better.” It’s rather mild. This nausea felt stronger and I was getting the “bubble under the tongue” I get seconds before I puke. Then it would dissipate and I would feel okay, only to have it happen a minute or later.

So I decided to call 911 at with my son’s encouragement (read as: “Seriously mom! Just go to the hospital!”). I hate going to the hospital because of the fear that it’s going to be that one doctor. I have an extreme fear that the man is going to kill me one of these days. Let me rephrase that: I HAD an extreme fear…

The ambulance showed up and I felt better seeing faces of people that have taken care of me before. I have to say, when I see a nurse that is at the clinic I go to, it made me feel so much better (not physically – just mentally). I got my little puke bag JUST in case, and we headed to the ER.

At Cabinet Peaks Medical Center ER

When we arrived my throat was still itching, just not as bad, and I was still having waves of nausea. I already knew everyone there by name because of my other trips to the ER and they were all nurses I like. YEAH! I was just hoping it wasn’t that one doctor who I fear the most.

The doctor was THAT doctor. So I was expecting hell and a complaint form afterwards. Instead I got …. a top-notch experience. 

Wait. What?

Yes! A good experience! He listened. He didn’t ignore what I was saying. He acknowledged my allergic reaction. He treated my reaction like I was expecting. He even came back in the room to make sure one of the medications was one I could have. It has dextrose in it (the non-dissolvable one does not but at the ER they have the dissolving tabs). Sometimes I have to pick my battles. I will take some pain and swelling over extreme nausea any day! 

For those of you asking why I didn’t just smoke some medical marijuana for my nausea. I don’t take marijuana and Benadryl together. I don’t feel it is safe.

The whole experience went well. I got checked in by the nurse/ EMT. My youngest son met everyone during this process. I got hooked up to the EKG. My vitals were still good when checked. I saw the doctor. I got meds. I played 20 questions with my son. I felt better. I got released. There were NO ISSUES

I… I am having conflicting emotions here. I am not sure what to think. I am so happy the doctor did a good job. I am cautiously optimistic that this is a good sign. I am going to check my records in a few days though. But… I am confused about this whole thing. He did good. He was polite. I am not sure how to react. I’ve spent the week thinking about it. I am just flabbergasted. 

Anyway, back to the post…

“How are you now?”

The next day, the abdominal cramps hit and I was poofy like I expected. I stayed on Benadryl, Ranitidine, and Ibuprofen for the day. My liquefied insides fell out by the end of day two also. I felt like a truck ran my over. I felt HORRIBLE but, at the same time, better also. (That’s hard to explain) And my leg was tender where I injected my Epi-pen. 

It’s been a few days since then. It happened on the 7th, I think… I lost track of days. Anywhoodles, over the next few days I recovered with no problems. I am now doing fine although I am a little rash here and there. Not sure what that is from. I think the two are unrelated? I can never tell with rashes.

But I had to share the good experience I had at Cabinet Peaks Medical Center’s Emergency Room. Plus, share the experience with the doctor because I am pleased with the experience.

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My Sleep Study Results Are In!

I got a call about 10 minutes after I woke up. Man, Cabinet Peaks had perfect timing on that. It was the lady to talk about my sleep study.

She went over the results. They were read by my son’s sleep doctor so that was kind of cool. She talked about how I sleep in a recliner and all that. And then she said what I was hoping to hear…

I DO NOT have sleep apnea. Thank you!

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True Friends LOL

True Friend right there lol.

The first sleep doctor I saw, did not know what he was doing. I am sure of it. In fact, I still owe $900+ on a machine I shouldn’t have needed in the first place. I digress.

This means we are one step closer to an answer. I think the next step the sleep study for narcolepsy.

Sometimes having to change all your doctors is a good thing!

The Sleep Study Update…

Sorry I haven’t updated about the sleep study yet. Staying awake so long actually threw me off my schedule pretty bad. I keep thinking it is Wednesday because I lost a day somewhere. I’ll pick up on Wordless Wednesday next week.

Anyway, I did get to do the sleep study this time. When I got there, I had a one hour nap (maybe) in 28 hours somewhere in the afternoon. I couldn’t stay awake anymore. I thought I would sleep well but by the time I got to the hospital, I was wide awake and wired for sound. Continue reading

Mailbag! Fatigue, Sleep, and AWESOME!

What? Cabinet Peaks Medical Center gets a good review? Even though my appointment was cancelled? Am I okay? YOU BET! I even have a little award for them at the end of the post.

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View from Cabinet Peaks Medical Center

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I am getting a sleep study tonight. I was enjoying the view and thought I would snap a pic to share.

This is the view from Cabinet Peaks Medical Center Chemotherapy Center. The sleep lab borrows it for their sleep studies.

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And the bed looks comfy… and has a massage feature and seems comfy as heck.

I Sold my Soul to Satan

I know a lot of you will be shocked I changed doctors. Before I get a ton of questions about what Dr M* did wrong… the answer is nothing. She is a good doctor. I like her… but I know my old PA-C (Physicians Assistant) better and I want to go back to him because well … It’s not that I don’t want to see Dr M*, it’s that I have a history with my PA-C and I prefer someone who I have a history with. I wholeheartedly trust him. I also trust Dr M*. This is really hard to explain…

I highly recommend Dr M* to anyone else. I’d put her name here but I don’t have her permission and I don’t like posting real names without permission from the person. But I just want to go back to my old PA-C.

The soul selling part…

Continue reading

50 Questions: The Biggest Lie I Get Away With Every Day

What was that one time you told a huge lie and kinda got away with it?

Can I be real for a minute here? Usually I work hard at not lying. Ask for something factual and I will tell you the answer as factually as I can. Ask for my opinion and you will get it whether you like it or not. I’ve lost friends from this.

I did finally think of a big one I get away with a lot though.

“I’m fine.”

When people ask me how I am doing, I don’t know if it’s social training or what… but I say, “I am fine.”, smile, and ask how they are. I say this even when I am sad, depressed, or having a lot of anxiety.

It’s not that I am intentionally lying. It’s just that saying “I am fine” is so much easier than being honest. Who really wants to hear, “Horrible! I am so stressed from no income, no one will hire me, and I have no idea how I am going to survive with all this pain and the epilepsy… and I really miss driving!”

I really don’t think anyone wants to actually hear how I am really doing … but, I also can’t think of a way to say, “Life sucks but I keep slogging along.”

backstab-t-shirt

Mind if a ramble for a minute? Well, I am going to anyway. 

There are days, like the other day, where depression just knocks me down for the count and I find it impossible to do anything. I cry a little every day. It’s not that I need medication, it’s just that I was a lot more excited about life before Dr. Douche reminded me of how little value I have. I STILL have a hard time with that. I mean, if that is how other people see me, how much worth do I really have? Am I really just the crazy person that doesn’t deserve a say so in her life? Is that really how people see me?

Little things like that will send me in depression quickly. I really don’t feel I have much self-worth. I know other people love me and think I am amazing and talented. I do not though. And every time I start to feel like that, some asshole comes along that reminds me how delusional it is to think of myself as anything other than dirt.

I fully understand that this is a form of society ideology that I am imposing on myself. I get that. But after years of being put down and ridiculed for so long, trying to love yourself if very hard. It really doesn’t take much to remind me how low I feel on the totem pole of life. There are all the animal guides that show… then there is me. I am the one under the dirt that no one sees.

This is how I see myself. Why? Because I feel like no matter how hard I try, I will never get anywhere in life. Because I am so depressed lately that the only thing I get remotely excited about is planning my homelessness. I should really write a post about that.

Every day I am reminded of how hard it is to get anything done because I hurt so bad. Every day I struggle to feel alive. Every day I look at my house and wish I could get up and organize or rearrange just a little and I know I can’t and never will be able to again. Every day, lately, I have cried a little because I either hurt too much or I feel hopeless.

I can’t force myself to feel joy about anything anymore because when I do, I feel pretentious. I almost feel like if I have a good day, someone is going to knock me back in my place.

Even when I am poor, it’s like I have to actively be poorer just to make others happy. Since I am on food stamps (something that kills my soul a little every day) people flip out if I have a cell phone. No matter that I paid for it and my ex keeps it on for me. I should wear rags and sit on the corner with a little tin cup shaking what little change I got from passing strangers. Society views on poverty are truly fucked up.

I almost feel like I would feel better about myself if I was homeless and living in my van. I wouldn’t be asking for anything. I wouldn’t be bothering anyone. I would be able to live off the food stamps I have each month. Or not. I would have to work on that. If I was homeless, I wouldn’t have to worry about rent. I could be self-sufficient so anything I sold that I made would be income, not just throwing it towards things I can’t even begin to afford.

But, I digress. I really do not feel good about who I am anymore. I was doing a lot better before Dr Douche decided to remind me how low I am on the totem pole. Up until he decided to show me what a worthless piece of trash I am, I was actually feeling hopeful.

I know that is delusional thinking. Anytime I start to think positive, I am put down for it. So I do get that. I have had “delusional” hurled at me more than once. I know positive thinking is delusional thinking. I’ve heard it so many times. It drove my ex crazy that I would think positive.

But being depressed all the time sucks too. I don’t know how to balance it out. If I am too positive, I am delusional. If I am firmly based in reality and openly accept it, I am depressed. Where is the happy medium?

Now… do you really want to know how I am? Because I can totally tell you.