I’ll be a Youtuber!

I know this isn’t logical, I really do, but I decided to do what I always wanted to do… well, at least since YouTube has been around, and make YouTube videos to journal/vlog. I mean, I know I won’t get paid, but who cares… I want to try to do something fun. My therapist wants me to explore my worth, explore what I deserve… mmm, okay. So, I figured I would do that through video blogging. I mean, I will still be writing down my thoughts too, I’m not leaving the blogging world, I just want something fun to do, something to look forward to.

I did one test on my camera LOL, I was a bit too close. But if this works, you’ll be able to see the video. Warning: I have ADD and tend to change sentence/ subject mid-thought!

This way, I can update all my blogs in a fun way, still get beading done in the “real life” instead of spending too much time writing… at least in my head that is how it’s working… and I will be happy to get to explore the vlogging world a little.

I do have anxiety about this though. I have a lot of anxiety. 1) I don’t like the fact that I am missing a lot of my teeth (not my fault) 2)… no, that’s about it. Well, not really, I also have anxiety about people looking at me. I know, it’s a not a healthy thing to obsess over… that’s one of reasons I am in therapy. It makes me all nervous and anxiety ridden to think that someone, somewhere, that I don’t know LOOKED at me. Massive anxiety attack right there. I like to walk around imagining I am in an invisibility bubble. No really, that’s how I cope.

Like I said, I know that’s not healthy… but, then too, I am in therapy, okay?

I figure, if I do this, it will help with anxiety and being a hermit/shut-in, and I can have fun with it too. I’m going to practice editing a video today to cut out all the rambling bits that I tend to do when I am talking. I’ll let you know how that goes.

Real Quick though… I am trying to do an “introduction video” about myself. My friend, Jane, suggested I could do a bunch of questions people ask. I have a list of 11 questions so far. I will reorder them before I do the video.

  1. How many kids do you have?
  2. Why are you vlogging?
  3. What do you hope to gain by doing this?
  4. What are your fears about doing these videos online?
  5. Do you still not smoke? Like, show everyone your necklace!
  6. Do you drink?
  7. What is your favorite drink?
  8. What is your favorite thing to do? (I think he meant “hobbies”)
  9. Do you crochet or knit?
  10. Do you like to read? You should do a thingy where you share what book you are reading and how you like it and what’s happening so far in the book and stuff like that. (OH! I like this idea!)
  11. You should talk about your allergies on your blog. Tell people what it’s like to live with that many allergies. (okay)

So, if you could add to the list, what would you ask? What would you want to see in an introduction video about me?

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The Good and The Bad

I no longer have to worry about electricity for a while. That’s a relief. It’s paid for the next five or six months which is a huge sigh of relief for me.

I am exhausted today. Must be another painful week coming up. I actually found a great idea that I want to try too. It’s posting positive things about your day and doing an art project… It’s by another WordPress blogger and you can see the post that inspired me by clicking here. It made me think a lot. Somewhere through my tears and life’s frustrations, it gets difficult to stay positive.

So I am creating my own project! Here it is!

Each week, at the start of the week (Sunday, for me) I am going to set one goal a day. Something big, something small, whatever… And each day I am going to post something that happened that is positive. It’ll probably be an aside note. I’ll start posting quotes I like too 🙂

Since I can’t spend a ton of time on art, I plan on making one art project a week and posting it sometime during the week. I’ll try to pick a day to do this but, with trying to get so much done, I don’t know what day will be good for that. Give me a few weeks to figure that out.

The bad is, I am hurting and exhausted from this week and I have a mountain of laundry to finish. But I will get it done. I am going to do a couple of loads a day and try to get it all caught up and then try not to get behind again. One an up note… I am almost caught up on dishes and I have a list of things to post for sale on the local Facebook page, so hopefully I can get my phone bill caught up. I am crossing my fingers!

Off to go work on my quit smoking journal now. I am exploring my reality today.